Do you remember being asked as a child “what do you want to do when you grow up?”
Usually children love this question and their faces light up. It’s as if all the neurons in their brain are having a party. The options and answers are abundant. “I want to be an astronaut”, “I want to be a doctor”, “I want to be a scientist and a DJ!”. There are no limits, and they can do whatever they want.
The limitations only appear when we grow up. Parents, grown-ups, our society are partially if not entirely to blame. Do you ever wonder, if you were given the power, or the possibility to choose now any direction you wanted, would your life be different? What would happen if you were on your own and you could decide where to go?
When I coach people who come to me for career direction or career development, I recommend the book Oh, the Places you’ll go! by Dr. Seuss. It is short and truly to the point, and I believe the perfect book for anyone, any age, who is either starting a new phase in their life, or wondering where else they could go. It is great for just some inspiration, and a great reminder that we have the power, on our own to decide where to go. In his book, Seuss shows how this sense of empowerment gives us the freedom to consider our decisions and options. Having the power to decide what is best for you gives you the ability to reach high. And when you aim high, the results are just so satisfying.
Of course, there will be times when you don’t get what you want. This will mark a turning point, and now you will have to find a way around the discomfort. The streets will no longer be marked, and some pathways will be darker. You will find yourself confused and caught in a race, a race that seems endless. This race will take you to the most useless place. Seuss, refers to this place as the Waiting place. This is the place where you can no longer feel anything positive, you feel in despair and lost. It is the place where you wait for life to happen.
I meet many people who have built a career, but don’t remember how they ended up there. In many cases, the common factor is that they were told during adolescence, or at some point in life, what to study, and which path to take. Or, in some cases life just took over. One position led to another and one decision led to another. This in turn, led them to a specific field or job that no longer satisfies them. Life is filled with commitments that end up building a pathway, and people feel they have no choice but to follow them. As a result, they are usually disconnected from their work environment and generally have a feeling of unhappiness when they are there. There is also a very strong feeling of unfulfilled desires. In addition, this disconnection with the work environment leads to a sense of disconnection with other surroundings, like family, friends and other relationships.
When I come to think of it, there is barely any moment in our lives, after childhood, when we are not told what to do, or how big to dream. Can you stop reading for a second and ask yourself: What is the difference between what I want and what I believe I deserve?
What are the barriers that are stopping me from making my dreams a reality?
When we are younger the space of self- expression is given to us with abundance. We are given the opportunity to dream, and to dream big. As children we are told our instincts, and our inner voice will lead us where we want to go. But something happens along the way. So what can you do to stop that from happening? How can you take charge of your life?
I ask my clients to start by recognizing their barriers. Usually these four are the big hits: criticism, fear, guilt, resentment. To clarify, resentment is anger that hasn’t been expressed and has piled up. Once they have picked one or two the above, I ask them to identify their behavioural patterns, beliefs and experiences. At this stage they have identified their challenges. As I guide them through these various stages, I ask them to feel as if they can no longer afford the luxury of a negative thought (as Peter McWilliams is known to have said). The goal here is to dissolve the barriers.
So no matter what comes your way, because things will be thrown at you all the time. Fears, financial or career problems, health challenges, don’t forget that it is up to you to stand up and face that beast eye to eye.
Your mountain is waiting,
Don’t stop dreaming, and dream big!
